Giving Away A Million Dollars!!!

I know I will deeply regret this, but I am going to give away a million dollars. Well... a million dollar idea at least...

With my training for IRONMAN Florida 2014 ramping up, I do NOT have time to develop, test, and bring this idea to market. Judging from the INSANE cost of anything associated with the sport of triathlon, selling just a few of these should make you an overnight millionaire! Make them out of carbon fiber and I am sure they will sell even better and you will become a billionaire! Rather than keep this stroke of genius to myself, I feel compelled to share this with you!

But first, there is no debate about the importance of fueling during a long ride or run and especially during something like the 112-mile bike and 26.2-mile run portions of a full IRONMAN. Trying to take in calories every 20 - 30 minutes means I'm going to be fueling 18 - 24 times during the course of my IRONMAN?!

I find fueling to be much easier if I use a variety of products (flavors and consistencies). I am just not cut out to consume a single type of nutrition (gels, chews, blocks, bars, wafers, etc.) for all of those servings. My preference is to alternate gels (Hammer, Gu, PowerBar, and/or Honey Stinger), waffles/wafers (Honey Stinger), chews (Honey Stinger, Gu, Powerbar), and bars (Bonk Breaker). Those, along with my hydration (Gatorade, Perform, Fireball Whisky), give me all of the calories I need to perform.


Now we come to the problem. Convenience of dispensing nutrition!


GELS: I have long since learned that a Gel Flask is the most convenient way to take in gels. The flask is scientifically proven* to be 1,037% easier to use than tearing open those dastardly gel packets. AND... no trash to deal with/get you disqualified for littering! I prefer to use a Hammer Nutrition Gel Flask (http://shop.triattic.com/accessories/hammer-flask-5-serv/) in an Ultimate Direction Bike Mount Gel Flask Holder (http://shop.triattic.com/accessories/bike-mount-flask-holder/). This thing is the BOMB! I LOVE IT! They make one for your run hydration belt, but I have yet to try one out.



WAFFLES/BARS: These are a little easier to manage, but the packaging can be a pain. I find that simply cutting the waffle or bar in half and slipping it into a Ziploc Snack-sized bag is sufficient. This creates easier to manage portion sizes and LESS trash to deal with.

These things will print $$$!

CHEWS/CHOMPS/ENERGY BLASTS: Ahhh, the delicious Gummi Bears of athlete nutrition! OR are they simply unmanageable, sticky, globs of frustration?! As much as I enjoy them, they are difficult for me to manage on the bike.

Enter the most glorious idea to ever cross my** mind! THIS is the million/billion dollar idea! Simply pick up a bunch of 4" lollipop sticks (~$5 for 150 on Amazon), skewer your chews, slip the "chew pops" into a Ziploc Snack sized bag, and off you go. About half a bag of Honey Stinger Chews (pictured) will fit onto one, 4" lollipop stick, allowing you to break up your servings, as needed. This allows you to easily unwrap and partake of the glorious chews without getting insanely sticky!



"How do I turn this into a million/billion dollar product?!", you ask? Like everything else, marketing! Get these things made of carbon fiber, cheaply. Then, get a good celebrity endorsement! Get Rinny, Sharky, or that dude with the goofy sunglasses that always wins Wildflower! Plaster their picture on the label, package them 3 to a bag, and sell them for $10, $15, or $20! They will sell like hotcakes! Take a look at some of the stuff being sold and TELL ME I AM WRONG?!?!

Anyway, hope you find this little trick helpful and this post finds you training hard and training safe! If you do make a bunch of money off of this... I really would love a new tri bike. And a new wetsuit. And maybe one of those really cool aero helmets. And a new tri kit or three. Or, if you want, you could get me a few pairs of running shoes, too. Some straight-up cash for all of the IRONMAN Finisher gear would be nice, too...


* - No science was actually used in the determination of this number. 100% of people who use percentages are liars.
** - This incredible idea was not mine. The credit truly goes to fellow-triathlete and my wife, Michelle Harrison. Thanks, Bitsy Pookums!